YOUTH IN ALL OF ITS GLORY 💟💜

(I encourage y'all to use this prompt, "My younger self..." and complete the sentence as many times as you like to reconnect with your past self... sometimes I disassociate from young Tara and believe I am a new, different person... and while that is true, young Tara also made me who I am, and they deserve endless love and recognition for surviving and growing). 

MY YOUNGER SELF

… was shy, nervous, taking small steps at a time. The world seemed so definite yet i only knew my universe, the one surrounding me, the mountains and people and ideas. I stayed one minute behind everyone, except for my bursts of passion and interest, where I would be everything and then nothing all at once~ i wrote and believed in the BIGGEST of things, a sad and beautiful mind.

… took (most) every opportunity to live life; a CURIOUS creature of hope and love for others! I pushed and pushed myself out of my comfort zone, sometimes in hopes of popularity and other times out of genuine exploration. I held grand visions of a future where my power was truly mine, where I could do as I please and the world would be endless (While I am now here, the future seems indefinite so I remain grounded in the present yet optimistic for the change 222 come)

… did not know what to do with the waves of emotions, the feelings of sadness 

and frustration and anger towards myself. I grab them tight in my arms and reassure that u are doing the best that u can! Not always accepted or appreciated, yet now can take my experience to support others in feeling so <3

… had all light on them to be SOMETHING, anything other than ordinary! They took no shit and said whatever was on the brain (when comfortable to do so). Trust in everyone to give em the world until it was broken and a new reality must be created… i dream small and big, of being exactly who i am and also changing into who knows ? 

… wanted to be a doctor, a writer, a hairdresser, a student, an artist, a teacher, someone who does something important. I am now all and none at the same time, I am someone who finds value in life by sharing it with others, as we all try to make it better each day. I support people and they support me in a way that astonishes the world, and who knew such greatness could exist? When we see greatness in ourselves, in others, in the way we can revolutionize love? Reassured by community and change.

… could not understand myself, as I did what I was told yet also escaped in secret, in private, into the wonders and horrors of my mind. My dreams took my body farther than it could go, I imagined all corners of the world yet had no concept of what was 2 come. I knew I had a lot to give, out in the universe, and I still do (sometimes for myself as well). I found beauty in companionship, in driving around endlessly, in going to some strange place and exploring, in doing the exhilarating parts of growing up; i did not know how to handle the pain i experienced, the trust broken, the internal shame, the unsaid judgements and insecure attachments, so i moved on and forward as possible.

Youth was jumping off the cliff and dealing with the scratches later, tumbling away into inertia, the great unknown. Youth is remembering that u r allowed to play, u can take time to have fun, u r not a burden and u deserve love and growth and amazing, beautiful things! U deserve to run around recklessly, scream into the air, and laugh until your cheeks and sides ache. U should put some color on, or a pretty dress, or some beat-up boots, whatever, whenever, wherever u please. U can play pretend and imagine a fantasy land with beautiful beings, where magic is everywhere in ur surroundings… U deserve to get messy in paint, to squish the mud, to sprint down a hill as the wind takes you, a creature of this earth. Youth is when we accept ourselves truly, fully, wholeheartedly, even the lil you that hurts and has yet to be loved (we are on the way).